This is an anonymous verse that really made me laugh and was recited at my mum’s  Life’s Celebration party. This is in many ways how she lived and i think is a lesson to us all to do the same. Let’s go for it! Let’s stop playing it safe, there are too many things we  miss out on or don’t do because it doesn’t feel safe or this or that might happen…….

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, margarita (G&T?) in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!”

Do you ever wonder why so many of us are taking time off work with stress related illnesses or why we feel so overwhelmed by just how many things we try to cram into a regular working day. Just stop for a minute and think!

It is just as important to take care of your mind as it is your body, yet so many of us fail to do this.

In today’s fast paced society where everything we do seems to involves  doing it at break neck speed, we fail to recognise how this might be impacting on our well-being. What stresses one person out may be like a “walk in the park” to another. It is important to be able to recognise what your limitations are and stop when it becomes too much. If you begin to notice yourself suffering from any of the following then it is time to take action:

• Headaches
• Indigestion
• Sleep problems
• Neck or shoulder tension
• Skin problems
• Change in appetite

What is Stress?

Stress could be described as a process of behavioural, emotional, mental and physical reactions, caused by prolonged, increasing or new pressures which are significantly greater than coping resources. Stress isn’t something we get or have, it isn’t really a thing. It is a reaction to some thing, it is about how relaxed or anxious we feel when presented with a specific scenario or situation and how our body and mind cope with our reaction to that situation, and eventually how that impacts our health. Our reactions are often learnt behaviours depending on what the situation is.

Stress impacts our bodies in three ways, psychologically, physically and behaviourally. Stress is something that all of us need in our lives, but each of us needs differing amounts in order to remain healthy. The secret lies in getting the balance right. Fortunately stress can be addressed and it is possible to reduce the risk of stress related illnesses.

Many of us behave in different ways during stressful events and that can sometimes involve food. Some people may feel inclined to eat much more when stressed and they will often just grab the first item of food that comes along. Eating while stressed can make us feel more able to cope or can help us momentarily feel better by pushing the stressful feelings down with food, giving us some short term relief.

 On the other hand some people may choose not to eat when stressed, feeling sick and nauseated at the thought of food. We use food for so much more than nutrition. When we become stressed, we allow ourselves to become mindless, not really stopping to think what we are doing or even why we are doing it. We often feel the need to rush around and we can feel like we are running out of time.

 I have put together a few different ways to help you deal with any stressful events that may be present in your life. My biggest tip, stop, breathe and listen!

12 tips to help you deal with stressful events in your life

1.  Make time for myself every day.

2. Don’t take on other people’s responsibilities.

3. Learn to say “no” without feeling guilty.

4. Have more patience with yourself and others, what’s your rush!

5. Take some time out every day to relax and unwind.

6. Laugh at least once every day.

7. Take a walk in nature, smell the flowers, listen to the birds.

8. Allow yourself some time to just do nothing.

9. Don’t give yourself a hard time at the end of the day tell yourself you did your best.

10. Start believing in your self and live in the present

11. Meditate for 10 minutes prior to going to sleep, this will help you sleep.

12. Stop chasing time, don’t wear your watch and see what happens.

 “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional” is a Buddhist proverb. Pain takes on many forms and faces. Each of us deals with this in our own way. Some of you may take offence at the suggestion that “pain is a gift” but pain really is necessary. Pain warns us that something is wrong, that we are endangering ourselves or putting ourselves or our bodies in harmful situations. If you read Paul Brands book which is devoted to the issue of pain, you too may begin to think differently.

In his book “The Gift of Pain” he gives many examples, but one which really struck a chord in me was of the little girl who could feel no pain because of a condition called “congenital indifference to pain”. Left alone in her cot for a short while, her mother discovered she has chewed her fingers to the extent they were bleeding badly, and her daughter was smiling happily as she painted with the blood from her fingers.

You might ask what this has got to do with easy weight loss, mindful eating or dieting. Ask yourself why you continue to diet, deprive yourself of foods you love or punish yourself by eating too little, need I say more? For me, this suggests there is pain, yes psychological pain but still pain. Instead of addressing the root cause of this pain we, go on a diet, stop eating or overeat to either comfort ourselves, make the pain go away temporarily or hope that if we push the pain down with food it won’t come back.

When we continue to do this over long periods of time, even life times we begin to suffer. Suffering happens as a result of our resistance to pain, our conscious or unconscious desire to try and escape it or our dislike or fear of not knowing how to deal with this pain or even wanting to deal with it. Many people don’t realise they do have a choice!

Here is where we have the option or choice. ”Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”. Address the root cause of the pain, and there is no suffering. Your pain is telling you something is wrong……….listen! How fortunate we are, if only we would listen to what our bodies tell us. Why should we treat psychological/emotional pain any differently to physical pain? If we burn our hand on the cooker, we don’t pretend it didn’t happen and do it again. We don’t cover it up and repeat the process we stop because it’s painful. We recognise the consequences of our actions.

So next time you begin a new diet or try to pacify yourself with scoopfuls of ice cream, just stop and think, what is my body telling me, what am I trying to avoid, what pain am I feeling. Then deal with the pain or find someone who can help you deal with it. My book “Hot Chocolate for Your Soul” offers many ways of doing this through mindful action and mindful eating.

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding    

 Even as the stone of the fruit must break,
that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles
of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than
your joy; and you would accept the seasons of your heart,
even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over
your fields.

And you would watch with serenity
through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquillity:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided
by the tender hand of the Unseen, 
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been
fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.”

–The Prophet– Kahlil Gibran

I just had to comment on this T.V programme. I cannot understand the mentality of this T.V programme/diet programme at all. For me this programme is messing with peoples minds and setting the participants up to fail……for what…i guess it must be because they think it offers good TV viewing. Week after week the participants all punish and deny themselves to be “The biggest Loser” through gruelling exercises that most of them probably hate and by denying themselves all the foods that give pleasure when they eat them. (Sorry they are allowed these foods in abundance when testing their willpower during one of the weekly challenges the participants are set)

The title of the programme itself messes with your head. What does ”loser” imply to you? If you check this out in the dictionary, there are a couple of different suggestions. The first is: A contestant who loses the contest. The second: A person with a record of failing; someone who loses consistently. I’m sure the producers would argue that this is all about weight loss but the word is sooooooooo negative! Why use a word like that when there are many other words you could use to imply success. My next grump about this programme is that  most weeks the participants are set a challenge where they are tempted and presented with trays or tables of sweet and fatty foods, such as cakes, chocolate, cream etc. Ususally if they eat the “forbidden foods”…….. and this can be as much as 10 small chocolate eggs each, or 10 cream cakes. they are rewarded by adding(increasing) to the group weight loss at the end of the week. (I hope you all understand that) but you have to bear in mind that the participants eating the “forbidden foods” may well gain the weight they are looking to lose for taking part in the challenge.

Not sure my explanation is clear, but the whole programme for me is all back to front and just seems to be deliberately messing with the participants minds. I really wish people would come to their senses, stop dieting, look at what lies beneath their relationship with food and start to enjoy food again. We eat for two reasons Nutrition and Pleasure.

Did you manage to come through January without sucuming to a diet? If you did, then you have managed to dodge a barrage of bullets, very well done to you. All the diet companies, magazines and TV programmes have been out in force trying to convince us that we have to look a certain way or lose weight by dieting or crash dieting. I have approached a number of newspapers asking if they would write an article on mindful eating and with one exception, they have all ignored my requests. I’m sure if I had a brand new diet to offer, they would be desperate to give me some space in their newspaper.

 Becoming conscious and more aware of what you do and how you feel and behave are the first steps in developing a more mindful approach to life and eating. Being consciously present in the moment is easy to implement but can be challenging to maintain. But rest assured, like any form of physical training which improves muscle strength and tone, over time with your mental discipline and mental practice, being present becomes easier and very rewarding.

I think my next blog will focus on “awakening consciousness”, something I am very passionate about and something that I am developing and moving towards myself. If I can help others do the same then how different our life and our perceptions about life will be. Till the next time, keep on practising.

I just had to comment on the “Will my crash diet kill me” aired on Channel 4 on Tuesday January 19th. Please, can we just wake up to what we are doing to ourselves. These three poor women put themselves through hell to achieve some rapid weight loss which will no doubt creep back on again. The pain, suffering, deprivation, increased food cravings and binging on Christmas day were just a few of the issues they had to deal with……or should I say put themselves through to achieve a temporary weight loss.

The three crash diets they used were the Maple Syrup Diet, the Cambridge Diet and the Cabbage Soup Diet….talk about starving yourself, it really was so sad to watch.

The girl who followed the Cambridge Diet was told she might begin to lose her hair, would suffer from bad breath, constipation, diarrhoea, flatulence and was only having meal replacements up to 615 calories per day! and to top it all she then had to pay£40 for that privilege.

The girl on the Maple Syrup diet also had very little in the way of food and survived for 2 weeks on maple syrup and lemon juice with possible side effects of furry tongue, possible dizziness, constipation and bloating.

The girl on the Cabbage Soup Diet poor soul put 3 pounds on the first week. At least she could eat something although bloating, dehydration, flatulence and diarrhoea were issues there too.

The result was that they all had rapid weight loss accompanied by all of the above pain and suffering. I really don’t know how to tell women, they don’t need to put themselves through this anymore. Surely anyone would prefer to deal with and get rid of the reasons why they have this unhealthy relationship with food than continue to put themselves through this hell on a regular basis. It was so evident that they really were suffering emotionally and physically. Come on girls you are all worth a whole lot more than these awful diets. The only people who are gaining from all this are the diet companies. At least begin by looking at the free download on my site and then you can have a free 30 minute consultation with me to discuss any questions you might have, surely that’s a better deal than starting another diet.

Do you often find what food you eat is affected by your emotions. Mindful eating can help you change this.If you are one of the many who has been on countless diets over the years who looks at the New Year as a fresh start, then perhaps its time to really think long and hard. Yes New Year is a great time to begin things and start afresh. But don’t forget “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got” Don’t begin the rollercoaster ride and that all too familiar uphill climb back to the “Yo-Yo Diets”, depriving yourself of the food you love. Think about how different it could be if you chose to follow the process of mindful eating. Eating food you enjoy, eating food that satisfies you, eating when you are hungry and not letting your emotions affect how and what you eat. Does that not sound a whole lot better than believing you have to start another diet?

Don’t let your emotions affect what food you eat and don’t be taken in by another new diet or marketing ploy tempting you to try the latest fad diet. Throwing money at it won’t solve it or make it go away. Until you begin to recognize your own eating patterns and realise that it’s possible to change you will just end up back on the rollercoaster ride for the rest of your lives. Why not choose mindful eating, make it different this time. You are the person who knows best, you don’t need some diet to guide you or tell you when you can and can’t eat. Listen to your own guide, your intuition, that little voice that says…..yes I am hungry or really notice and know when your stomach feels full. Many of us who are chronic dieters don’t even know they have this choice and that they can take responsibility for what they eat and can take charge. All I ask is that you think about how different your life would be if you changed your relationship with food for good. You can do this you can re-learn how to trust yourself again and what you’ll discover in the process will completely transform your life.

Wishing you lots of love, peace and joy during this festive period.

Jeni

If you do decide to follow this process then you can begin by downloading the free Mindful Eating Action Plan at the top of the page which will give you a head start or by ordering my book “Hot Chocolate for Your Soul”. After following the mini 7 day e-mail course or after reading the book, if you feel you would like some support or guidance, why not take advantage of my free 30 minute consultation, valid until June 30th 2011

First of all, I apologize for not getting a blog posted for a couple of weeks now but I have been resting up trying to shake off this virus. I think I am almost there now, just some remaining coughing and spluttering but will be all clear for Christmas. Talking of Christmas and all this cold, frosty weather we have been having….a great time for making some warm, comforting and wholesome food. I recently made a wonderful pot of “ham broth my style “and it just tasted so good. I will include the recipe at the end of this blog and also ask that anyone else who would like to share their winter warmer recipes here to go right ahead. I think it is great to be able to share recipes with each other. Don’t you find you keep making and eating the same foods over and over again? I think we can all get suck in a bit of a rut with food, just to make it easier or because we can’t be bothered trying something new. Perhaps on one of my future blogs I will talk about unusual foods, foods I would still like to try….i am sure there are many. I will leave you all with my “ham broth my style” and wish you all a very merry festive time. Remember the more mindful you are in what you eat and drink over this period will mean less pain and suffering afterwards, cheers and enjoy!

1 med Ham Bone
1 leek
1 onion
2 carrots
1 parsnip
Cup of peas
¾ cup broth mix (soaked over night)

Chop it all up and put all ingredients in a pot or slow cooker with enough water to cover. Bring to the boil and then turn on very low heat and simmer until meat on ham bone is tender and all dried broth mix cooked through. Enjoy!

I have just watched the final episode of The Big Silence which has been showing on BBC2 over the last 3 weeks. This week we were shown just how challenging incorporating silence into our busy, noisy,  hectic lives can be. After spending 8 days in silence at a beautifull, peaceful, country location, the volunteers were then let loose  back into reality to face the somewhat daunting task of incorporating silence into their own busy lives. Some managed this more easily than others, while others found it more difficult and couldn’t find or make the time for a little silence.  The impact the series had on some of the volunteers was quite life changing and in one case a whole new carreer was borne out of his experience.

For me, i already do bring silence to my life but not as much as I would like. I think I need to be more disciplined and set aside a little time each day. Just as I do for exercise or walking. I’m sure  if we all took a little time out….say 10minutes every day building up to more as and when we can, then our lives might begin to change as we make space and time for our souls to shine through. If you haven’t seen this series then you can watch via youtube…………..Enjoy!

I really enjoyed this second episode of The Big Silenc and was impressed with how well everyone did and more to the point what they all got out of it. I think I might just take off for 8 days of silence and see what happens. In this episode the five volunteers  had to undertake eight days in complete silence. This episode followed each of their journeys and how they experienced the silence. So much was revealed and they all encountered elements of anger, frustration, sadness and rebellion, but eventually found their way to some form of peace and freedom. For me mindfulness and mindful eating can really help begin to focus on our inner selves and help us find that inner peace. For me  mindfulness is just one step towards that.